Let’s take a walk on the mild side with this issue from February 1979.
And when I say mild, I mean meh. I’m not a big Lou Reed fan and I’m fine with that.
But this entire issue is kind of meh. Not a lot of bands I’m into and the new bands sounded like nothing I would want to get into.
Not that there isn’t any drama in this issue. Elton John throws some rightful shade in his interview and there’s quite a bit of shit-talking throughout the issue. And here I am, shit-talking the shit-talking. It’s like that “snake eating his own tail” bullshit.
I do want to note that there is no March 1979 issue next week – we’ll move straight on to April. At first I thought that I just didn’t have that issue, but surprise – they didn’t put one out for that month. Spoiler alert – they also didn’t release a March 1980 issue, but there are March issues for 1981, 82, and 83. I’m assuming it has something to do with their anniversary issue in April, but of course it’s my luck that there isn’t an issue for my birth month in my birth year.
So let’s just go, go, go to February 1979 issue…..
Lou’s looking quite the Coney Island Baby in this cover photo. Methinks (god, I hate that word) he took this photo before they trashed his Live: Take No Prisoners album in the previous issue. Believe or not, out of all the names on that cover, I’d probably pick Lou to listen to first.
And we have Godley & Creme for the inside cover advert. I do like this album a lot, especially the song Group Life. I wonder if Lol hates his name now in the age of social media and memes.
Friend: Hey, your grandpa is pretty cool. What's his name again? Grandson: Lol. Friend: Dude, it's not funny – I just asked you a question. Grandson: And I answered you, it's Lol. Friend: STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME YOU INCEL!
95% of the letters this week were readers bitching about the “Top 100 Guitarists” from the last two issues.
And then we have the other 5%:
How low can you go is right. Who cares? Ain’t nothing like two grown men bitch fighting in a Letters column in a music magazine.
Speaking of bitch fight, am I the only one uncomfortable with both 10cc and Godley & Creme in this Thunderdome of free albums? I feel like a kid trying to decide which parent I’m spending Thanksgiving with.
Guess I better go for The Jam.
Speaking of jams……
Spoiler alert: This “biggest issue ever” has a whopping 65 pages, compared to the 50 pages in this issue.
Too good of a secret, since I’ve never heard of them until now.
I understand the contempt for picture discs because I feel the same way, but colored vinyl? Heaven forbid you get a little brightness and sunshine in your life. And how dare they shit-talk Rhino Records?!?! Unfortunately, there’s more of that to come.
You know what else is at half-mast? My music boner every time I hear the Police.
BOOM BOOM – this album bites!
Obviously not close enough in the realm, because a hit never came for them (until two of the guys left and formed The Hooters. Yes, I know…) I listened to the debut album (Baby Grand) and their second album (Ancient Medicine, which is what they’re referring to in the above excerpts) and they were Baby Snooze-fest for me, but the second album was DEFINATELY better than the first. Drummer David Prater (not to be confused with Dave Prater of Sam & Dave) waxes poetic about the mediocrity of current music. He should know about mediocrity – he produced a bunch of Firehouse albums and “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing.
He looks like Iggy Pop if Iggy was from Florida and wore a shirt.
And this is what Trouser Press has to say about this album:
Now for an interesting snippet from the Elton John interview.
YOU hate Stairway to Heaven? Try listening to it for 50 years…..
Eh, it could be worse. I’m just anticipating the Letters column in the next issue. HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE AN ALBUM THAT I LIKE?
Did Mt. Olympus Imports not get the memo about the colored vinyl?
Glad to see that Stuart Margolin and Steve Perry got a new album coming out!
I love it when they write the jokes for me.
Yet another swipe at Rhino Records and colored vinyl. But low and behold, look who they accepted advertising dollars from:
Yet another mention of the Temple City Kazoo Orchestra in this blog post!
Annnnnd another mention of “You Think You Really Know Me” by Gary Wilson. This time it gets it’s own ad.
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz
And we end this issue with The Fabulous Poodles. I had to stop myself from cutting out this box and putting it together, and yes, I was one of those kids that did the Fold-In and ruined all of my MAD Magazines.
Thanks for joining me on this musical trip back to February 1979. I’m just hoping that this ginormous-64 page-chock filled-super big-exciting anniversary issue in April will be Trouser imPressive (see what I did there?)
Also, does anyone know where I can get like 6 of these?
See you in April 1979!