Trouser Press Thursdays – June 1979

What’s so funny about peace, love, and understanding?

Actually, I find all of it boring.

Just like this June 1979 issue of Trouser Press.

Despite having some articles and interviews with some of my favorite bands, this issue was a real snooze fest. The Elvis article was just some bloke waxing poetic about him, because Elvis wasn’t giving out interviews at that time (according to the author). Seriously – they couldn’t have used a real photo of him on the cover instead of this Wish-level Claymation Elvis? The record reviews were long-winded (and not in a good way) and the “Parker/Rumor Family Tree” headline on the cover is misleading. Even the ads were kind of meh.

I know, I sound like an asshole. But I’m just being honest – nothing can be banging 100% all of the time. Time is precious and I want to make sure you don’t waste yours by reading a bunch of mediocre pretentiousness.

My aim is true when it comes to my readers…..

So lets go back in time to the early summer of 1979…..

And for the inside cover advert this month we have Squeeze. The 12-year old boy in me is snickering over the “Produced by John Wood and Squeeze” line. I do like the song “Cool for Cats”, but my actual cats hate it. Or maybe they hate it because I’m singing it – whatever. I think “Goodbye Girl” and “Up the Junction” are the other hits on this album (I checked – they are.)

SPOILER ALERT – There’s no more letters about the “Top 100 Guitarists”! It only took them five goddamn months.

But don’t worry – there’s still plenty of assholes writing in.

Even the Free Album Thunderdome is boring AS F this issue. Who names their band after a Badfinger album that came out only nine years earlier? I guess I’m going to have to pick Bill Nelson.

Even the Raving Faves was boring. I thought we would get the answers to last month’s question (Best erotic non-disco pop song.) Guess we’ll have to wait to get our non-disco boners next month.

Ooooh! Question #18 is pretty good too. I’ll have to think about my three entries.

Glad to see Kraftwerk is changing up their look.

I keed – I like Bill Nelson.

The 12 -year old in me struck again because I thought that said “Rubinoos Like Poop” at first glance.

I think it was that double O that threw me for a poop loop.

Shit, this is probably the BEST I’ve seen his teeth.

I just want to run my fingers through John Foxx’s hair.

Now I’m not a magazine editor (currently), but I would have put the full-page ad for the Bill Nelson album next to…..oh I don’t know…..the interview with Bill Nelson about this album.

Just sayin’

I assumed that the Dave Stewart mentioned above was the Eurythmics Dave Stewart, but it was not. But this Dave Stewart is responsible for producing Neil’s version of “Hole in my Shoe”, so that makes him equally as cool.

Fun fact: Bruford had a flugelhorn player that was NOT Chuck Mangione.

If you want to read about Jimmy Pursey bitching about Siouxsie and talking about her tits, then you might be interested in this article.

I hope you’re not.

Man, Prince is looking ROUGH!

So here’s that non-interview with Elvis Costello (if you want to read the entire thing, you can find it on trouserpress.com). I do like what the author had to say about Bruce Springsteen and John Lydon though….

This is the “Parker/Rumour Family Tree” article. I don’t know why they just didn’t put “Pub Rock Family Tree” on the cover instead.

Oh I know why – no one gives a fuck about pub rock.

At least here in America.

Finally, some good ol’ Southern California punk rock.

Ian Hunter is my spirit animal because I too wear sunglasses 24-7.

I know I posted this previously on a different issue review, but I don’t care – I would have killed to have been able to go to this.

More El Lay goodness.

I posted this review of Remote Control by The Tubes (which came out in the issue-less March 1979) because I’m glad they like it. Now that I’m slowly becoming a Trouser Press expert, I have a feeling they’re not going to like The Tubes 1981 album, The Completion Backwards Principle.

In case you didn’t know, I love both of those albums 🙂

Two albums they did not like, but I only agree with one.

I love Judas Priest and I think Hell Bent for Leather is a great album. But Supertramp and Breakfast In America can shut up and get the fuck up out of here. Ugh – I’d rather listen to Styx than Supertramp and I HATE Styx, so that should tell you something.

In the tradition of bad Trouser Press record ads, I had to look up Wazmo Nariz’s #1 international cult single of ’78.

Now I wish I didn’t.

I don’t know if I’m just getting older and crankier or if it is just pure shit, but I’m just losing all tolerance for bad wacky songs. I love novelty songs and I love good wacky songs. But “Tele-Tele-Telephone” is just fucking annoying and not in a good way.

Here’s some food for thought (literally) –

Fish Heads by Barnes & Barnes was also released in 1978 and is a far superior song, so it wasn’t like Wazmo was doing something new and it wasn’t understood.

Also – sorry Ral Pheno or Ral Phero or Red Phero or Red Pheno – I tried looking you up and I couldn’t find anything. So you have gone unscathed in this review except for your choice in bad script font.

Yet another boring, trying to be dry and sarcastic band ad.

Here’s a shocker – this is the first time since I’ve been doing this reviews that The Resident’s are NOT the inside back cover advert.

I guess they were evicted.

And we end this issue by getting fisted by the Tom Robinson Band.

I feel totally fisted by this June issue. I try not to look ahead at the next month’s issue until it’s time for me to start reading it, but I did see the cover as I was digging this one out and it looks a lot better. But who knows – it may end up being a double fist-fuck. Or maybe because the last issue was so good? Who knows?

But I do enjoy reading these and believe it or not, I do look up some of these bands and albums I’ve never heard of (or just never thought about listening to.) Some of them are hard to find (online or streaming), but I’ve been making a list so I can try to find the vinyl copies when I start going record shopping again. It’ll be soon – I’m just waiting for the crowds to die down at the new Amoeba location.

Until then, I’ll continue to read and review these issues of Trouser press. Five down, only fifty-eight more to go!

See you next week in July 1979!

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